Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Dangers of Owning A Dog (or Two)

Warning: this is a graphic post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

For those of you who don't like to hear graphic stories about the horrors of what I do for my dogs, here is a little story to fill up some space so you can leave the blog without accidentally reading part of the story about my lovely afternoon.

Everyone should visit Painting With A Twist in Charlotte. I went last night for a great friend's birthday (where more than one of us may or may not have drank an entire bottle of wine by our individual selves - guess how good that was for my low-carb diet) and we made peacocks! See for yourselves:
That's the birthday girl - Sara - up front on the left!
And here's a closeup of my masterpiece.
Okay, time for the nitty gritty dirty tale. First off, I would like to warn all female dog owners: SHUT YOUR BATHROOM DOOR. That's right - we're about to go down that road.

Lately, Preston's favorite pasttime has been to pull everything out of the bathroom trash can and spread it around. He doesn't eat any of it, he just likes to share the joy of dirty tissues and tags off of clothes. Well, today I had replaced the trash bag, so there were only two things in it - a cardboard toilet paper roll and a panty liner. (Yep, told you we were going down that road.)

I decided to watch some Netflix and I dozed off, only to wake up to Sensei lying on the floor eating the aforementioned TP roll. Initially, I was just annoyed at having to pick up 249018743 pieces of cardboard, until I realized I needed to check the rest of the trash can. I rushed upstairs to find this:
As you can see, one of my babies has discovered the beauty of the eating straight off the roll! And yes, as you may have suspected, the trash can was empty - the panty liner was missing. Someone ate it. I searched the house high and low - the only place left was in one of my pooch's stomach.

After some Googling - where I read everything from "the sticky part will block their intestines and they'll die if you don't take them to the vet ASAP" to "my dog ate a whole diaper and he was fine!" - and texting Bill, I called our wonderful vet at Animal Ark. After some awkward confusion on the part of the receptionist (resulting in my explaining what panty liner in fact is), I discovered that I needed to make my dogs throw up. Barf. Puke. Vomit. In order to do so, I would have to get them to drink about a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide.

And I did. I went outside with Sensei, armed with a bottle of H2O2 and a shovel. He drank it out of the spoon without any problems, and right away I could tell he did not like it. He kept baring his teeth and licking his mouth. I felt like a horrible person. He probably thought he was getting some awesome treat, and I gave him the nastiest stuff imaginable. (Seriously, I gargle with this - I can't imagine drinking it!) I put him on his leash and walked him around in the backyard in order to expedite the process and to keep my eye on him. After about ten minutes, he puked twice. The first time was huge, and you better believe there was a lot of chewed-up mess and a chunk of an undigested panty liner. I used the shovel to throw it over the fence so he wouldn't go back and eat it again later, and then I washed the shovel and called Michelle to share my disgust and warn her to never let Booth near a bathroom.

The good news is that I didn't have to force Preston to throw up, as it was pretty obvious that Sensei was the culprit this time around. And it's been about an hour now, and Sensei no longer appears to hate me, so maybe things will go back to normal around here for a while...

Yeah, right.

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